Being “Mr. Fixit" is a Losing Strategy

[db5]

The nature of men is to want to fix everything. Your wife has a problem on the job or anemotionalwith another woman and you immediately tell her how to fix it. She doesn’t want that, she wants another woman who will let her vent, commiserate with her and it will pass. Because you have a history of knowing how to fix everything (plumbing, electrical, cabinet repair, flooring, lights, etc.) she finally concludes that if there is a problem it is your job to fix it.

I’m soon to be 75 (a Ph.D. Psychologist who should know better) and my past behaviors on being able to fix everything have come back to haunt me. I’m also the person who posted the “How to Piss off. . .in 4 Words.”

In the past few years if my wife has a problem she makes it my problem. Tonight she wanted to know where the “Friday” paper was. I didn’t know but told her that since it had arrived after everything was in the trash it wasn’t there. She insisted that I check. I told her to check. I also told her that it wasn’t my problem since I wasn’t looking for it. She stalked off. I have no idea what she did with it but I did check and it wasn’t in the trash.

So, level the playing field (male or female members). If it is your problem you fix it. If it is a mutual problem (house repair, etc. agree on the solution – if you call a plumber let the man fix it; if the man of the house is going to do it let him do it without supervision – you don’t supervise a plumber). Don’t demand, intimidate, use feminine whiles (men don’t have those and can’t even buy a spray on for them) to get someone else to solve your problem.

You will avoid problems and rancor later in life as well as a spouse wondering why she is no longer getting her way in everything she wants. It’s a bad deal for both parties.

[BuckeyeDennis]

The nature of men is to want to fix everything. Your wife has a problem on the job or anemotionalwith another woman and you immediately tell her how to fix it. She doesn’t want that, she wants another woman who will let her vent, commiserate with her and it will pass. Because you have a history of knowing how to fix everything (plumbing, electrical, cabinet repair, flooring, lights, etc.) she finally concludes that if there is a problem it is your job to fix it.

I’m soon to be 75 (a Ph.D. Psychologist who should know better) and my past behaviors on being able to fix everything have come back to haunt me. I’m also the person who posted the “How to Piss off. . .in 4 Words.”

In the past few years if my wife has a problem she makes it my problem. Tonight she wanted to know where the “Friday” paper was. I didn’t know but told her that since it had arrived after everything was in the trash it wasn’t there. She insisted that I check. I told her to check. I also told her that it wasn’t my problem since I wasn’t looking for it. She stalked off. I have no idea what she did with it but I did check and it wasn’t in the trash.

So, level the playing field (male or female members). If it is your problem you fix it. If it is a mutual problem (house repair, etc. agree on the solution – if you call a plumber let the man fix it]

You will avoid problems and rancor later in life as well as a spouse wondering why she is no longer getting her way in everything she wants. It’s a bad deal for both parties.

Uh, so, do you want us guys to help fix your problem? Or are you just venting?

[JPG]

[quote="BuckeyeDennis"]Uh, so, do you want us guys to help fix your problem? Or are you just venting? ]
:D:D:D:D:D:D


Understand he is a frustrated PHD!;)


Methinks recently 'retired' and 'conveniently' at hand more than before!:rolleyes:

[benush26]

Maybe since she figures he knows about about Piled higher and Deeper, he could look for something buried, better than she.

Luckily my Master's is in Conflict Resolution so I KNOW that I can't solve anything. and then there were the constant reminders of my now ex-wife (who became a lawyer) that I didn't know diddly anyway!!

Maybe a simpler solution is to get an iPod and have the ear buds in all the time so when she says something you don't want to deal with just say "Huh??" and point to the earbuds!
Yes, I am divorced for a reason!!

[dgale]

[quote="JPG40504"]:D:D:D:D:D:D


Understand he is a frustrated PHD!]

Post Hole Digger, right?

[JPG]

Psychologist Having Distaff 'issues'.

[ss50th]

He seems to hang on to his "4 words" mini thesis. There is a two word concept which he may not want to engage in..."Community Property".

I heard Orson Wells comment regarding his long term marriage.... The secret is to love someone FOR their faults; not IN SPITE of them.

[joshh]

I will agree that women in general treat men opposite of how the man treats them. A man who waits on his woman hand and foot will get walked over and the guy that treats his girl like dirt will be rewarded(this only works to a certain threshold...don't push it too far)

A woman will never be happy with a complete jerk but won't be happy with a complete nice guy either. This may be because women have a tendency to try and "fix" every guy. They believe their love can turn the biggest asshole into the sweetest gentleman. If they have a guy that treats them like they CLAIM to want, they get bored with him.


I have dated a lot of women and I have found that balance is the key (like everything in life). Treat your girl like a princess as often as possible, but call her out when she is wrong. Everything needs to be checked every so often....including us guys

[db5]

[quote="JPG40504"]Psychologist Having Distaff 'issues'.]

I didn't think anyone would make that connection but you did.

[JPG]

I didn't think anyone would make that connection but you did.

Maybe I am psychic after all!;)