How do you deal with people who have no power, no authority, no influence and no control but tell you what you must do or that you can’t do something?
When confronted most people simply respond with acquiescence or, even worse, try to explain what they want to do and why. This resistance with non-compliance is met with resistance from the person who told them what they must do or cannot do. Neither acquiescence nor resistance is the answer. The answer is agreement. Agree with what the confronter has said. People assume that agreement means compliance. Agree - and then move on. Only law enforcement officers are trained to deal with people who agree with them and then move on and do what they want.
I learned this in 1980 when I wanted to buy the Tuesday Wall Street Journal and found that the closest place to purchase it was at the Marriott adjacent to Fashion Island in Newport Beach, CA. I pulled into the parking lot and the hotel shop was on the front so I parked in front of it. As soon as I exited the car a doorman came from the front and said, “Sir, are you a guest of the hotel.” I replied that I was not but was just going to buy a paper.
He replied while pointing to a spot 30 yards away, “Sir, you will have to park over there.” I did, walked to the shop, bought the paper and drove away.
The next week I returned and parked in front of the shop and he repeated his question; “Sir, are you a guest of the hotel?” I said I was, thinking this would make a difference. He said, “Sir you will have to park over there,” pointing to the same place thirty yards away.
So, guest or not the answer was the same. He had been trained not to annoy anyone but to have only one answer, “Sir, you will have to park over there,” which brought compliance.
I returned the following week and parked in the same place in front of the shop and was met with the same question. When told I had to park in his designated parking area I said, “Oh, okay” (I agreed with him – no resistance nor explanation, just agreement) and proceeded in, bought the paper and went on my way. We repeated this for more than 30 weeks. He didn’t know how to deal with it and after a few weeks ignored it although I bought the Tuesday paper for many months.
About a year ago a woman who has a small service dog told me that whenever she goes to Wall-Mart she is accosted (greeters are gone having been replaced by accosters, who tell her that she can’t bring her dog in. She has to explain to them that it is a service dog and often they demand proof (which is not permitted by ADA regulations). I told her how to deal with it. Just agree and move on. What are they going to do? Grab her (lawsuit), escort her out (lawsuit), call security (unlikely, but possibly another lawsuit). Call the cops? As if they have time to deal with this from Wall-Mart. Just agree and move on. I ran into her later at the pet isle and she told me that it worked beautifully. No more hassle and they finally learned to leave her alone. Agree and move on.
When people tell you that you can’t do something or that you must do something just agree and move on, doing whatever it was you intended. Immediately they will leave you alone. Never argue nor explain. Just agree, "Okay," and do whatever it was that you wanted to do. They did what they were trained to do and don't want to do anything differently so nothing will result from your agreement. Just agree and move on.
I assume you read the first part of this, which described who those people are.
