Planning for the end

JPG · Post by **JPG** » Thu Oct 23, 2014 10:02 am

2centsworth wrote:Fred just checking on how you are felling today ?

I hope he feels better than a tree about to fall!;)

joedw00 · Post by **joedw00** » Thu Oct 23, 2014 10:34 am

skou wrote:Joe, you're aware that most "side by side" burial plots are really stacked, don't you? First one goes in deeper, with the second partner on top.

steve

Here they dig two different graves.

Ed in Tampa · Post by **Ed in Tampa** » Thu Oct 23, 2014 11:16 am

Being a Pastor and having to deal with funerals very often the one bit of advice I would offer is do what ever you have to avoid dealing with a funeral home at the time of death.

My apologizes to Chris Neilan but my experience has always been they know they have you by the throat when you try to make arrangements with them at the time of death.

What ever you do make your arrangements now before you need their services. Believe me you will save a ton of money.

One last bit of advice. The cost of the funeral is not indicative the amount of love you had for the deceased, it is indicative of the salesmanship of the funeral director. Again my apologies to Chris.

ChrisNeilan · Post by **ChrisNeilan** » Thu Oct 23, 2014 11:30 am

skou wrote:Joe, you're aware that most "side by side" burial plots are really stacked, don't you? First one goes in deeper, with the second partner on top.

steve

Not true. Almost universally side by side... I speak with 37 years experience in my family business (90 years now:) ). You are dealing with traditions, land management, ledge and groundwater. In Long Island, yes, but very uncommon elsewhere.. That is starting to change now that space is becoming a premium... VA cemeteries learned that years ago.

baysidebob · Post by **baysidebob** » Thu Oct 23, 2014 5:58 pm

Few years age I had to bury both my FIL and my MIL. A few years apart, but not something I looked forward to. My wife had passed a ffew years before either of them, so I was left with the deed. Here in California they are both in same grave site and one is atop the other. Several others that I know have passed also, and they are all buried one atop the other. Maybe it depends on where you are located.

skou · Post by **skou** » Fri Oct 24, 2014 1:46 am

skou wrote:Joe, you're aware that most "side by side" burial plots are really stacked, don't you? First one goes in deeper, with the second partner on top.

steve

Let me further explain. Here in Arizona, or maybe just the cemetery my parents are buried in, they're stacked up. (Maybe, it's just my parents' plot.) The Skouson section in Mesa's city cemetery is pretty well full, but my father passed in the early 90's, and got in. My mother is just upstairs.

steve

wvthomas · Post by **wvthomas** » Sun Oct 26, 2014 10:08 pm

My great aunt and great uncle had made their plans years ago. She was to be cremated, and the urn placed in his arms, when he was buried. And when it came their times, somehow, she went about a year before him. Did I mention they were Scottish? ;-)

I also had a pastor who said during sermons "You never know, your casket may be in town".

ChrisNeilan · Post by **ChrisNeilan** » Sun Oct 26, 2014 11:05 pm

Ed in Tampa wrote:Being a Pastor and having to deal with funerals very often the one bit of advice I would offer is do what ever you have to avoid dealing with a funeral home at the time of death.

My apologizes to Chris Neilan but my experience has always been they know they have you by the throat when you try to make arrangements with them at the time of death.

What ever you do make your arrangements now before you need their services. Believe me you will save a ton of money.

One last bit of advice. The cost of the funeral is not indicative the amount of love you had for the deceased, it is indicative of the salesmanship of the funeral director. Again my apologies to Chris.

Nothing like painting everyone with the same brush.

skou · Post by **skou** » Mon Oct 27, 2014 1:23 am

Chris, you may be the exception to the rule, but my experiences are the same as Ed in Tampa.

MOST, (not you, Chris) funeral directors are as bad as used car salesmen. It's the 90% that give the rest (Chris) a bad reputation.

You MIGHT want to take this up with your fellow (Funeral Director) members.

steve

BuckeyeDennis · Post by **BuckeyeDennis** » Mon Oct 27, 2014 7:03 am

skou wrote:Chris, you may be the exception to the rule, but my experiences are the same as Ed in Tampa.

MOST, (not you, Chris) funeral directors are as bad as used car salesmen. It's the 90% that give the rest (Chris) a bad reputation.

You MIGHT want to take this up with your fellow (Funeral Director) members.

steve

I had a very different experience when my mother passed. The cremation was done in Ohio. I checked a couple of prices, and the funeral home that I chose turned out to be the oldest in the city. The price was quite reasonable, and I had a couple of very interesting chats about the business with the director, a 4th generation family owner. He said that before they were founded, the deceased would typically be "prepared" (as in drained of blood, I believe) in the family kitchen, and then laid out for visitation in the family parlor. Ah, the good old days!

This funeral home owned their own crematorium. But most others around here outsource that service, and tack on a big markup.

We had a memorial service in Tennessee, again with excellent service at a very reasonable price. The director there even went so far as to lament that the most expensive funerals/caskets were often purchased by those who could least least afford them .. apparently feeling that they had something to prove.

The only time we felt gouged was when buying the grave marker from the cemetary. But I later checked the online prices, and they weren't much better.

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Planning for the end

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