Why You Should Listen to your Wife

db5 · Post by **db5** » Sat Dec 08, 2012 11:09 pm

I had an earlier post titled Conversation With Wife

https://forum.shopsmith.com/viewtopic.php?t=11729

I’ve posted this separately because it contains a very important illustration as to why you should always (well almost always) listen to your wife and differ to her judgment.

A loud pounding on the door awakens a man and his wife at 3 o’clock in the morning. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.

"Not a chance," says the husband, "It is three o'clock in the morning." He slams the door and returns to bed.

"Who was that?" asked his wife.

"Just some drunk asking for a push" he answered.

"Did you help him?" she asked.

"No. I did not. It is three o'clock in the morning and it is pouring rain outside!"

His wife said, "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!"

The husband does as he is told (of course), gets dressed and goes out into the pouring rain. As he goes down the steps that are slippery from where the drunk had tracked mud up earlier he slips and falls right in a big pile of mud. The rain is pouring and he gets up, cursing his decision to listen to his wife; he tried to wipe himself off but it only made things worse. He calls out into the dark, "Hello? Are you still there?"

"Yes," comes back the answer.
"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.
"Oh, yes, please!" comes the reply from the darkness.
"Where in the Hell are you?" asks the husband.
"Over here on the swing!!" replies the drunk.

JPG · Post by **JPG** » Sat Dec 08, 2012 11:32 pm

Good un!!!!!!

charlese · Post by **charlese** » Sun Dec 09, 2012 1:43 am

A real chuckle! Thanks!

joedw00 · Post by **joedw00** » Sun Dec 09, 2012 10:55 am

I like it.

maggeorge · Post by **maggeorge** » Mon Dec 10, 2012 3:31 pm

Laughing really hard with this one.
Thanks for sharing.

__________________________________________

http://www.sawblade.com

heathicus · Post by **heathicus** » Mon Dec 10, 2012 4:38 pm

I read it to my wife and she laughed pretty hard too.

But I didn't tell her I thought the title should be "Why you should NOT listen to your wife."

db5 · Post by **db5** » Mon Dec 10, 2012 10:28 pm

heathicus wrote:I read it to my wife and she laughed pretty hard too.

But I didn't tell her I thought the title should be "Why you should NOT listen to your wife."

So, you are a coward too! Welcome to the club. If so, you need to join the club:

C an
O ur
W its
A ccept
R aging
D ictators

Members believe that they have no choice and have given in; Obama promotes membership in this society as he believes, since he is also a member (via Michele and the fima natzies) that everything should be relegated to whatever raging dictators want. Egypt and Syria are examples.

How I have digressed. Surely your wife won't use chemical weapons on you? Chocolate, Champagne, seductive wiles, charm, smiles, enticements - OMG even sex? God forbid. Well, not God but probably Allah until you have 72 virgins in. . .wherever you go, after your martyrdom. Virgins would be nice but I don't think that is the ultimate experience. Once a virgin, never again a virgin. So with 72 you get only 72 more ultimate really inexperienced women for eternity? All are frightened and of you? And rightfully so. How dumb is that? Forever? No more virgins and no more sex? Forever? They will no longer be virgins and where does that leave you? OMG (or is it OMA?).