Shopsmith Forums

Ten Ways To Get In Shape To Own A Horse
1. Drop a heavy steel object on your foot. Don't pick it up right away. Shout "Get off,stupid! Get off!"
2. Leap out of a moving vehicle and practice "Relaxing into the fall". Roll lithely into a ball, and spring to your feet!
3. Learn to grab your checkbook out of your purse/pocket and write out a $200. check without even looking down.
4. Jog long distances carrying a halter and holding out a carrot. Go ahead and tell the neighbors what you're doing. They might as well know now.
5. Affix a pair of reins to a moving freight train and practice pulling it to a halt. And smile as if you are really having fun.
6. Hone your fibbing skills. "See hon, moving hay bales is fun!" and " I'm glad your lucky performance and multi-million dollar horse won you first place - I'm just thankful that my hard work and actual ability won me second place".
7. Practice dialing your chiropractors number with both arms paralyzed to the shoulder, and one foot anchoring the lead rope of a frisky horse.
8. Borrow the US Army slogan; "Be all that you can be'...(add) bitten, thrown, kicked, slimed, trampled."
9. Lie face down in the mud in your most expensive riding clothes and repeat to yourself: "This is a learning experience, this is a learning experience,..."
10. Marry Money!




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Now I know why I don't own a horse.

Yup. That about sums it up.

Horse ownership is an adventure all of its own.

Tongue in cheek Dusty, but a whole lotta truth!;)

I like cows. You can milk them and you can eat them........at least you get some return for your money!

I hope my daughter reads this (I sent a copy, farmer) right after she returns from the barn after cleaning stalls and feeding horses.

pessen wrote:I like cows. You can milk them and you can eat them........at least you get some return for your money!

Ask any European.

Horses are edible!:eek: But not tree rats!

Had one once. Those things are dangerous and slow. Went back to motorcycles.

How to spell horse:
M....O....N....E....Y
Great tools to have, but only if you have a use for them.

Had to take care of high-powered quarter-horses when I was a kid. We had a stud that was the high point AQHA horse in the state of NM. Meanest animal on 2 or 4 legs. If he couldn't bite you, he'd stomp or kick you.

Love to look at a good-looking horse; as long as it belongs to someone else

Reading this makes me feel good that I preferred boats. I always considered them a hole in water into which one poured a great deal of money. Still I cannot ever remember one biting, kicking or bucking me off. I do remember a fellow in huge speed boat attempting to run us over on Lake Powell one time. Fortunately he failed then raced off so no one would challenge his carelessness. Jim