Reviving POTPOURRI

[JPG]

These do not look all that shabby!

[ATTACH]21573[/ATTACH]

[ATTACH]21574[/ATTACH]

Repeat!?

[fixit]

Links no "workee".

[bffulgham]

(Stolen from an email forwarded to me by my Mom-in-Law)

• 1. Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
• 2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
• 3. Law of Probability- The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
• 4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
• 5. Supermarket Law - As soon as you get in the smallest line, the cashier will have to call for help.
• 6. Variation Law -If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.
• 7. Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
• 8. Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
• 9. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
• 10. Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
• 11. Law of the Theatre & Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.
• 12. The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
• 13. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
• 14. Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jam sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.
• 15. Law of Logical Argument-Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
• 16. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.
• 17. Oliver's Law of Public Speaking- A closed mouth gathers no feet.
• 18. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy -As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
• 19. Doctors' Law- If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better... But don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick. This has been proven over and over with taking children to the pediatrician.

If you don't forward this, your belly button will unscrew and your bum will fall off.

[bffulgham]

(Stolen from an email forwarded to me by my Mom-in-Law)

• 1. Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
• 2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
• 3. Law of Probability- The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
• 4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
• 5. Supermarket Law - As soon as you get in the smallest line, the cashier will have to call for help.
• 6. Variation Law -If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.
• 7. Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
• 8. Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
• 9. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
• 10. Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
• 11. Law of the Theatre & Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.
• 12. The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
• 13. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
• 14. Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jam sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.
• 15. Law of Logical Argument-Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
• 16. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.
• 17. Oliver's Law of Public Speaking- A closed mouth gathers no feet.
• 18. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy -As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
• 19. Doctors' Law- If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better... But don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick. This has been proven over and over with taking children to the pediatrician.

If you don't forward this, your belly button will unscrew and your bum will fall off.

[BuckeyeDennis]

But Murphy was an optimist!

[db5]

These are some postings today found on the For Sale/Barter subset. Enter “greater value” on Craigslist and see some of the really stupid ads in your area. Some examples:

· Beautiful Helzberg Diamonds diamond pendant necklace. Helzbergs appraised this necklace at $600. Willing to trade for something else of equal or greater value.

Who determines the value? He thinks it is worth $600. That’s his value. I have an old Timex watch that is worth at least $1000 (my value), which is greater than his. Will he trade?

·The guitar is worth $600 used but only asking $800 or trade something of equal value.

Worth $600 but only asking $800? I’ll have to think about that. Wait, I have some stuff that I’m throwing in the trash but I’ll sell it for $100 and then I can offer him $700. Maybe he will negotiate down. Or even better perhaps I can sell it to the guitar seller. He obviously doesn’t do math.

·I would like to trade my glue stick for something of equal or greater value. Please let me know what you have.


Well, I have a roll of Scotch tape. You deliver to me because at almost $4 per gallon for gas I’m not driving anywhere (certainly not to someplace that is almost 50 miles from where I live).

As the news anchors in Oklahoma say almost daily, “Is this a great state or what.” I’d say, Or What!

I once told a friend that Oklahoma wasn’t a bad place to live if it wasn’t for the weather, politics and some of the people and he replied, “The same thing can be said for Hell.”

Weather has worsened, politics has improved and people have remained about the same. Dumb is still dumb but the Moore tragedy has brought out the best of the best (and worst of the worst with some of the looting).

I am an equal opportunity offender/alleviator (and if I have offended anyone then you have no sense of humor, have a thin skin and need to think more about others and less about yourself.) Donate some $$ to the Red Cross for the tornado suffers in Oklahoma. That should help.

[dusty]

for the President to visit Moore, Oklahoma today? It doesn't really matter what it costs if there is some real value that comes out of the trip. But does the positive value of a trip, by the President and his entourage, to a disaster ravaged community offset the real cost? What does the trip actually accomplish? What does it really cost? Could the money be better spent?

I suppose the same could be asked about nearly all of the trips made by the President? Like the trip he made the night of the attack on the embassy in Benghazi.

[ljhhontx]

Dusty, As someone who has participated in recoveries at both Katrina and Ike events I can tell you that the presidential visits do nothing but slow down progress for everyone. The roads and communications are shut down anytime POTUS is in the area and progress on utillities restoration at least are almost completely stopped. I think we both agree on the general effectiveness of the current POTUS under any circumstance but this is a real lose- lose event.

[burkhome]

[? What does the trip actually accomplish?


I'm sure he is hoping for a positive public opinion.

[dusty]

[? What does the trip actually accomplish?


I'm sure he is hoping for a positive public opinion.

I think you are saying that it is really a campaign event (yes, I know that the campaign is over) and he really doesn't care how much it costs.

If my opinion of his past "disaster trips" were to be used as his barometer, he would certainly "stay home". He could then use the money to do something worthwhile like feed and shelter some of the disaster victims or rebuild a school in one of the disaster areas or rebuild a collapsed bridge or rehab a wounded veteran or .... but stay in the White House and work on the immigration bill or sign the Keystone Pipeline or determine the appropriate punishment for members of his staff (I can help with that) or tell the electorate where he was the night of Benghazi or work on a jobs bill or ..... Gracious knows there is plenty to do right there in DC.