Pinch me I must be dreaming

[reible]

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April Fools Story
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I won the lotto!

It hasn't been announced yet but one of the power ball winners was little old me. The first thing I did was engage an accountant/lawyer so we could look at options. The lotto was much larger but since there were multiple winners you only get your share. In this case it turns out to be $31.4 million.

At my age taking payouts verses the lump sum has to be looked at carefully. If you take the 30 payments over 29 years you get the whole amount. A one time payment cuts your amount by 38%. Not likely I'd be around another 29 years unless you can pay to stay alive..... So getting 11.9 million sounds pretty good. Might as well enjoy it while I can.

Then comes the tax man. They take 25% right off the top. The 11.9 million is now only 8.9 million. That is not the whole tax, more to be paid at tax time. That bill will be about 1.7 million for federal and then the state wants their 357k. The good news of sorts is that you still end up with 6.8 million sort of.

The lawyer/legal fees and accountant bills along with the investment adviser will use up 800k so I still have 6 million to play with. Hard to imagine it once was 31.4 million. We decided that was still plenty so we plan to set aside 800K for charity. Now what to do with the 5.2 million?

Now the plan is to take 1.41 million and set it aside for tool purchases. Out with the old tool and in with the new. Rather then build a shop I will rent a building and work out of there. Some tax reasons which I don't really understand. Anyway I hope that is enough for every festool tool there is. Starting to make the list now, or shall I say add on to the list I already have. I hope this will be enough??

The way they figure it I should be able to make about 7% on investments of the most stable and non speculative type. With just 3 million invested that will generate 210K income before taxes, and should be plenty to live on. It also works out great in that each of the kids will get about a million, well a million less the taxes at our deaths.

With what is left I plan to buy a nice wooded lot with a small stream running through it and build a small energy efficient home and a nice shop as an out building. Maybe the shop first, and to heck with the tax advantages of renting space. I don't want to spend the whole 2.2 million on this so I will have to decide what makes the most sense, say maybe 1 million or 1.2 million. I'd like to add wind and solar so we would be off grid and not have to worry about monthly energy bills.

According to the accountant I'm ready to announce and collect. He said no problems he will deal with it all. I might have to have some photos taken but that is about it. I can handle that. He explained that he has this special for us where we will end up with the cos of 90 degrees when all is said and done. Didn't make any since to me but he promise to cover the whole thing when all is "said and done". He and his family are heading to some island in the Cayman's so as soon as he returns we can get started with our plan. He has been so helpful and so happy for us, might even give him a tip for all his hard work. We will be seeing him Monday to sign papers giving him control of our winnings and after that we just sit and wait for everything to happen.

Exciting times!



Just about then I woke up and realized it was April 1st and this was all a dream joke. Well it sure got me, how about you?

Ed

[GeorgeM]

LOL

[ChrisNeilan]

[dusty]

Very Funny.

[rpd]

You got me. But it was still March 31 here when I read it last night.
Here is Paul Sellers contribution to the day.
[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_cont ... 9_qlaP1y_Y[/youtube]

[Dansmith]

Ed, I was about ready to come visit you and be best friends.

Seriously, I don't even know what I would do with that kind of money; but, I sure would figure it out.

[rpd]

And you can add this new offering from Veritas to your expanded tool budget.
[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQAm9OjV8iQ[/youtube]

[rpd]

Making lunch in the shop, with hand tools.
[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7J-lQ_iOLb8[/youtube]

[db5]

Well, damn! There goes the Mark 7 and every goodie to go in your new workshop. Double damn!

[Sazerac81]

Well, at least you know you have a good plan in place for when you do hit it big!

I was getting very excited for you, the new shop and machines!

Cheers,
John